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  • Ben Bits 11

    1. Crisis averted. She responded back and apologized for disappearing. I think I just need to calm down. One of the bad habits I have is that I sometimes assume the worst of situations like these. So, I shouldn't force things and just.... as an awesome guy said, "Be like water." She does still want to hang out. She suggested this weekend, but it stinks that I have to go back home to help a friend shoot a short movie. 

    2. If it's not one thing, it's the other. Ever since I got my health insurance, my body has started falling apart. You may remember me complaining about pulling my back for about 7 seconds and also my hands aching (which might have been carpal tunnel, because I've been a drummer for 7-8 years). And now, on my walk home, my left foot began to experience pain in my inside arch. When I put pressure on either my inside or outside arch, the pain intensifies (only directly on the balls of my foot or my toes does it not hurt). I didn't roll my ankle, step on anything weird, or anything. So, I don't understand what it might be...
    3. How are you guys?

  • A Question (About Straight Men)

    Over the weekend, family from all over met up and had dinner. Some discussions came up about homosexuality and how an aunt was old-fashioned and didn't believe it was right. Some male cousins then asked me (in a joking manner) if I was bi-curious. I said no, but wanted to ask the question:

    "Would a straight man be speculated as gay if he found/said that another man is attractive?"

    I personally said no because you can compliment how sharp or great someone looks without being sexually attracted to them. However, two male cousins disagreed and said that being called "handsome" and "attractive" are mutually exclusive. But do they really? Both are addressing a visual critique of one person and the conclusion comes from whether or not that person is aesthetically pleasing to the critiquer. And plus, does being attracted always have to lead to some kind of romantic gesture or action? People are also attracted to inanimate objects like cars, computers...

    I open this question up to you guys. What do you guys think?

    And by the way, in case you were wondering, I do find Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, Johnny Depp, and Norman Reedus to be attractive men.

  • Ben Bits 10

    1. Sometimes, when I give advice, I might sound a bit condescending. That is never my intention, so if there was a time where I did, I didn't mean to, and I'm sorry if I did. I only give advice because I don't like seeing anyone miserable and lost. Plus, I love you guys anyways. 

    2. I still haven't heard from the girl, though she has signed onto her OKC account early this morning. I sent her a short message on there (because I know she'll eventually check back) hoping she had a good flight home and if she would still like to grab dinner sometime. If not answer, then oh well. 
    3. With the situation above, I usually try not to let things like that annoy me. But, it does annoy me (when anyone does it) that if you hype something up like that, but then suddenly fall off the face of the earth for whatever reason. I know that not everyone is on the same level, but at least that if it's the case where you're no longer interested or something came up or anything, you can at least send a message or something to let that person know so they aren't left hanging. I mean, at least for me, I feel guilty if I'm even going to be 5 minutes late and I send a message apologizing. 
    4. I did mention and complain about the government sequester before and how it would affect my hours at work. But only yesterday when talking to my cousins did I realize how badly it's going to affect my financial situation. I'll be losing out on 20% of my paychecks because of the fuckups at DC. 

  • Zen from Ben (Maybe)

    I've read a lot of posts today that touched on a very personal level from each Xangan. One of the common things they all shared was the idea of "familiarity" and/or "routine." And on each one, I commented almost an identical paragraph. I'll share it with you here:

    "Life is full of twists, bumps, sudden changes in direction, obstacles. It's never really easy sailing, and often times, you just want to pull over and not go anywhere. The thing is, there is a purpose for these obstacles. Everyone often wants to find the easy, smooth road to travel down, the path of least resistance. But, how can you grow as a person that way? How can you learn and gain a new perspective when you never went through such an experience? People often say they have regrets, but you shouldn't look at them that way. They're learning experiences. Without those experiences, you wouldn't be the person you are today. You may not be as wise as you are now. As much as no one wants to struggle through life, you should also embrace these challenges. They are the ones that make you learn. Make you understand. Make you aware. And when you finally go over the rough patches, you can then shout that you persevered and succeeded."

  • Lights Are Blinking at Me

    I'm not sure if I'm going crazy or not. But, the past two days, I usually swear that I always see the green notification light blink on my phone. So I go check and then there is no push notification, no new message or email, anything. I figured that it might have been the way the light reflected off my phone making me think it was the green light.... except that it happened on multiple occasions in different areas. Just now at work, I thought the green light on my work phone went off. But it usually won't go off unless someone was calling me, and there was no ringer. I sat here and stared at the phone for about 15 seconds.

    Maybe I just need more sleep... mandatory nap time at work should be law.

  • Dating Thoughts Of Thyself

    I read this article(?) or post(?) at work today called He Has OCD and Aspergers and He Wants to Fall in Love With You. Seems like a pretty strange article to read or that even such a topic to write an article about. But, while reading it, it made me think a little more about myself and how I am approaching my dating life. 

    The main thing that got this thought process going was the guy's age: 36. He also mentioned that the last time he was in a relationship was when he was 19 years old. The guy said that he's looking for someone around the age of 23 or so; his therapist seems to think that would be a good age because due to his lack of experience in relationships, someone around that age would be almost in the same boat as him (which is a weird notion to go on, but okay). 
    What it got me thinking about was how my past attempts in dating went. The prior 3 girls that I went out with were all great girls. We can carry a good conversation, we made each other laugh, and we shared a lot of common interests. The problem was, while we got along great as if we have known each other forever, there was no spark. All the conversation, all the laughs, the smiles... and there was no romantic spark. The spark is supposed to be a natural thing. Like being constipated, if you have to force it, it's going to end up shitty. But, I just wonder why the past 3 girls never felt anything. Sure, there was the initial attraction from messages and some of the pictures that they perused through. But after the first and/or few times of meeting up, nothing. 
    Then, I started thinking about who I was as a person in general and how it affects my dating life. I am, on the most part, a very open person. Most of the time, I have no underlying motives; when I do, it would probably be a surprise gift or something. When I talk to someone new, I like to get to know them. I know that they're chock full of information, mystery, surprises, and what nots. So, putting this and the paragraph above together, I think that maybe, just maybe, even though I can be a great conversationalist, I might give too much way too soon. As a result, maybe that spoils the mystery to them; in turn, the spark is either blown out or never had a chance to light up. The thing is, I hate being vague. I hate being shifty, withholding when I don't need to be..... I hate being this entity of the unknowing. But somehow, it might be that very thing that I need to be in order for me to succeed in finding someone I can be emotionally invested to. 
    This new girl that messaged me over the weekend, we exchanged a few emails. She's currently on a business trip on the other side of the country. But, in the emails, she mentioned, "So I don't know about you, but I'm pretty excited to hang out." I reciprocated and said that I'm excited to meet her and hang out with her. She replied, "I'm glad the feeling is mutual. :) " That was Saturday. I haven't heard from her since (except when she uprated me on OKCupid, which I also returned the gesture). I sent her a very short one sentence email today, wishing her a good day. My plan is to wait for her to return from the west coast and see if she contacts me. If not, I was going to contact her towards the end of the weekend and see when she wants to meet up. 
    That inactivity since Saturday got me thinking about the two points above and how, maybe, I'm starting to repeat my old patterns and as a result, she's holding back because she doesn't want us to run out of things to talk about when we do meet up, which I understand. I should probably top thinking and play me some video games. 
    I also have to mention, she's freaking adorable and pretty. 

  • April Fools: Retaliation

    About 6 years ago, my brother's best friend pulled a half-assed April Fool's joke on him, saying that he got his then-girlfriend pregnant. My brother, being the skeptic, said, "YOUS DUMB. YOU AIN'T GOT NO GURL PREGNANT." (I'm only paraphrasing). So, as retaliation, well, watch what unfolded below. (Plus, you might see a cameo of *ahem* someone you know.

    @mellywelly15, visual treat. Enjoy. *evil laugh* *ahem*

  • Ladies, Think Twice Before Being a Man (Slightly NSFW?)

    Just a random food for thought (in a strange way):

    I remember a question that asked, "If you woke up one day as the opposite sex, what would be the first thing you would do?"

    Most men turned women would say they would either play with their boobs or squat over a mirror naked. Women would say they would pee standing up.

    One thing you have to think about, ladies, is the drawbacks. And here is one that might make you think twice:

    Good luck peeing in the morning with morning wood.

  • Hadouken!!

    Mainly for my twinsie @Nihaokeisha because of her Hadouken post. Oh yeah, and also by default information exchange, we determined that we're twins.... somehow.

    These were from last summer.... notice that gut. Bleh.

  • Monsters Inside Me

    Okay, well, not really monsters. But, I've been noticing some negative things happening to my body recently. 

    1. For the past week, I've been waking up at weird times in the middle of the night. I usually set my alarm to ring at 6:45 AM so I can get ready for work. But I've woken up randomly at 4:35 on Monday, 5:51 on Tuesday, and 4:33 last night. My coworker told me that maybe it is due to a random shot of cortisol (caused by stress) and I don't really have any stress on much. It was just random that it started happening this week.
    2. I almost pulled my back today at work. I was stretching my arms and as I arched my back, my lower back started to tense up (like when you get a cramp or charlie horse). The pain lasted for about 7-10 seconds before it went away.
    3. As I got home about 15 minutes ago, my right hand started having this sharp pain on the back of it (similar to how arthritis aches, except this one hurts much worse than any time before). 
    I'm probably just getting old.

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