May 19, 2014
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I suppose that one of the biggest downfalls when I’m in a relationship or interested in someone is that I’m probably overly affectionate. It’s been something that has been running through my mind for several years now. And recently, it started to make sense (and maybe also why one relationship ended the way it did).
I’m a very open person when it comes to expressing my feelings. I rarely hold anything back and I often voice my opinions/emotions. When I’m interested in someone, I like to talk to them a lot. To me, it’s a form of connecting deeper. I like to see what they’re thinking about, what they are up to, and so on.
I started reading a few snippets online about expressing affection and how much is too much. And, from it seemed like, apparently, I’ve been very smothering. I don’t mean to be, but it happens. I often like to keep in touch, and I now understand why it can be annoying. It put me in the shoes of the other person. I guess the reason why I never saw it before (even if I did look at it from someone else’s point of view) is because usually when I get a text or something from someone I’m involved with or interested, it makes me feel great. And I usually don’t feel smothered by it.
But I suppose that in recent times over the past year or two, I started to experience those type of moments from a select few. And how exhausting it is to deal with it. And so, while it will take a bit to adapt and deal, I’m doing my best to not be so smothering and interjecting. I still want to show that I heart them and appreciate them and like them, so it’s going to be a challenge.
Comments (4)
I don’t know. Is there really such a thing as overly affectionate? Or are men told that they must be stoic and give affection grudgingly, and that ruins expectations? heh.
It really depends on the other party involved too. I think it’s more that some people, while they do like affection, also like their space. It doesn’t really have to do with expectations of men having to be stoic and non expressive in their emotions, but just keeping boundaries when someone doesn’t want to be suffocated 24/7. Mainly open communication is the key to making sure it works.
Smothering, to me, is okay. If I like the person… But I see your point. Thinking about it, I get annoyed sometimes. Rarely with someone I like though. I guess it makes me feel cared about when a guy “smothers me.
I guess I do like to be smothered too. But, just not all the time. Which is where I’m kinda viewing it from. In person, yes. And I do like texting and talking to them a lot if I like them.