Its been a while, hasn’t it. Xanga 2.0 lost its zass that the first one had. Instead of checking my Xanga everyday, it’s now… at most once a month if it’s lucky. I feel bad that I don’t go through that routine anymore, but now really, it’s not the same as it used to be on Xanga’s end too. Anyways…

Lately, I’ve been tackling internally my feelings and emotions and thoughts. I tried embarking on a new perspective of relationships: no strings attached kinda deal. I haven’t really had any as of yet. However, at the end of the month, there might be an opportunity. Someone is visiting and staying with me for a weekend as we will meet up with other friends and partake in fun activities. We both share mutual feelings towards each other. We talk almost everyday and we’re both very excited that the wait is almost over.

What’s keeping us at a distance is, well, the distance. We live in different states and as much as we probably would like to, an actual relationship probably can’t happen (unless one of us moves to where the other one is, and that’s not happening because of our careers). However, we cannot deny that we do like each other, and that we wish to spend a good amount of time together (alone).

I’m just afraid that I’ll get pretty attached and then upset when the weekend is over. She tells me she doesn’t want to hurt me, and I know she doesn’t. I also don’t want to hold back my feelings (as she doesn’t want to either). And, really, it will just be a test of how I can hold myself together while sharing some intimate closeness with her.

I only wished that we did live closer together, so things wouldn’t be this complicated.